Coming soon to a Becki near you...

Starting over next week. Need to...want to...have to. Stupid hormones.

Up 10 lbs...no end in sight

Yeah...I know. It's my decision. Most of my problem has been my head is not in the space of "wanting" to be healthy right now. I actually am coming close to no longer enjoying the crap-laden days of late. The rest of the problem is my lack of preparedness...so I'm going to the store tonight, gonna stock up on veggies and get my butt back in gear...sometime in the next couple days anyway.

Ugh...I hate the struggle between good and evil.

There is no such thing as "Low Carb-ish"

I've always known that you can't just "kinda" do low carb. When I learned of Atkins back in 1997, I read the book cover to cover...it was so OBVIOUS in there that you can't "sorta" do low carb, it's all or nothing, but so many people try and fail and then blame the diet. It makes me crazy!

I found this great article that explains why it's all or nothing: http://www.proteinpower.com/drmike/low-carb-diets/we-never-failed-to-fail/

It makes me cringe when people either attempt to eat low carb without actually learning about it first, or worse yet...as my previous post today alludes...totally miss the point and demean the diet because they are not educated about the matter.

I have a great friend at work that always half-assed the plan. She would come in with her “Atkins” lunch, then go home and eat whatever she wanted. It was far too “restrictive” for her otherwise. If only she had given the plan a chance...you learn that that feeling of restriction goes away...especially when the pounds are melting and you are no longer popping Tums like candy!

I can’t claim to be perfect...If I were, I wouldn’t be on it AGAIN after having such success 12 years ago. I also wouldn’t be on induction right now after a “2 week hiatus” through the deep south. I understand that it only works if you do it right, and I accept full responsibility for every decision I make about what goes into my bloodstream, but I’m proud of the fact that I’m at least educated enough about “low carb” to make those decisions consciously and accept any consequences that will come.

LC v2.0 Day 5

Well I had my first session with the replacement trainer at the gym last night, and I'm NOT HAPPY. Let me just START by complaining about the way she claps her hands and says "yayyyyy" like a preschool teacher after I do a set...of anything! OMG...so freakin annoying. But what's worse is that she thinks she is going to change my diet...after I tried to explain to her that I'm happy with my diet, I know it works, I've done my research and I'm not interested in her input, she still insisted on trying to do things "her way"...which includes oatmeal and wild rice, no pork products, "lean meats", lower fat...blah blah blah....I'm NOT going to do it. I'm paying for training, I'm not interested in her diet advice...I want someone work me through an intense workout, period! She wants me to keep a "diet diary" for three days, to include portions, calories, times eaten, etc...she'll keel over and have a heart attack when she sees I had 3 pieces of bacon for breakfast, snacks of salami and celery with cream cheese, lunches of chicken Caesar salad with parmesan, dinner of broccoli and ground beef in a white sauce with cheesecake for desert...omg...seriously, she will have a coronary...in a cute and bubbly way to be sure. *eye roll*...no...this relationship is NOT going to work.

I tried explaining to her that I can EVENTUALLY include whole grains into my diet, but I’m not at that part of the plan yet...I will need some time. She said...”how long do you think, 2 weeks?”...um...no.

We did a half hour workout, different from the old trainers (Jenn) style. Jenn REALLY focused on core with every lift...so a lot of work done on the stability ball...when I do resistance training on the stability ball, I FEEL my oblique’s taking the pressure. This one does not work the same way...and I'll tell you, I felt the difference at the end of the workout. We didn't even TOUCH my core on any exercise! I can do a better workout on my own now that I have some of the lessons Jenn taught me...so I think I will just stop paying the money and do it myself. Sunday after learning she wasn't with the gym anymore, I did a workout like one she had done with me in the past...so I know I can do it, just am disappointed that I won't have her knowledge to build it out more fully in the future. :(

One other thing Ms. Sesame Street could stand to learn a lesson on...she actually encourages people to lie to her. For example...one of the initiating questions they ask is on a scale of 1-10, how committed to your fitness goals are you. When I worked with Jenn, I said 7...that's the reality for me. It's not a 10...will never be a 10. As an example, if I was that committed, wouldn't I have worked out while on vacation? Guess what...I didn't. I walked a lot...don't get me wrong...but I didn't visit the gyms at the hotels and do any lifts. 7 is real for me. I'm interested....interested enough to put some effort into it, but it's not my life right now...that's not where my head is at. Ms. SS says "Well if it's not a 10 you will never be successful"...well...do you want me to lie to you and say it's a 10? Fine...it's a 10...there...happy? And guess what, maybe when I turn my diet diary into you, I'll say I had 1 serving of oatmeal with blueberries for breakfast, and lunch of a salad with a piece of whole wheat toast, no butter, no dressing, and dinner of steamed fish and asparagus with a side of wild rice. I can lie to you...keep you off my back...sure would make my life easier!

I know she is doing her job the way she was trained...but it’s just not what I was looking for in a trainer. She’s the same cookie cutter trainer I’ve always found at these places. Next she’ll be pushing supplements and protein shakes to really bulk up the muscles. UGH...

Ok...End Rant

I am spontaneously leaving town AGAIN this weekend, driving six hours to go to “Hoopfest”. I’m anticipating ton’s of hot guys in basketball gear...or even better, just shorts showing off some six pack abs. *drool*...supposed to be 80 degrees with no humidity, no clouds. Food might be a challenge, but we’ll see how it is once I get there. It’s in a major city...surely I can find a grocery store. This is a last minute thing that came up last night...leaving with my friend Derrick at 2am Saturday morning. I’m excited...should be a fun weekend!

LC v2.0 Day 4

I got home last night and made that steak...and HATED it...blech! The marinade was just not good. I really need help in the steak area...or need a man in my life who can do it for me, cuz I suck at steak if I can't marinate it in Yoshida's gourmet sauce and garlic (the only way I like it really)...which I can't...cuz of the carbs :( So I grabbed a hot dog and ate that instead. I was full enough...just disappointed that I wasted the steak. Maybe I should add that to my personals profile...”must be able to grill a great steak”...LMAO

Today I've had two sausage patties, one egg and a slice of cheese for breakfast. My lunch sack contains bacon, salami, caesar salad fixins sans chicken (hoping to grab some from the company cafe), celery and laughing cow cheese and of course...cheesecake...how would I live without my cheesecake? Dinner is either going to be taco salad (cuz it's quick and easy and nummy) or ground beef and broccoli casserole...which takes longer but is so flippin delicious it could be worth the wait. We’ll see what happens. Problem is that I have to be at the gym by 8pm for my training session with the new “bubbly one”....it’s probably going to be taco salad. LOL Dinner always turns out to be whatever I feel like making when I get home.

This is probably why it’s a darn good thing I live alone and don’t have “temptations” in my kitchen...or dinner would be my downfall! At least when I get home, my options are pretty much limited to low carb deliciousness anyway.

LC v2.0 Day 3

I'm day 3 back on induction...was in ketosis but good before dinner last night...dinner might have been a TAD carb heavy cuz the stick is lighter, but still in the pink ;) Dinner turned out to not be steak...that will be tonight now I guess. Instead I went for my old "mockaroni and cheese" standby...oh how I missed it. So quick and yummy...but I think the hot dog I used might have been too high for my own good. Usually I use those 1g Hebrew Nationals, but this one was 4grams....then there was the cauliflower and the cheese...just might have been a bit too much overall. I don't care...I'm still down, still in the pink and still doing well.

Today’s food plan is 3 pieces of bacon for breakfast, chicken Caesar again for lunch (cuz I accidently left my lunch box with all the fixins in the fridge at the office), cheesecake, salami for snack, steak for dinner...with a side of broccoli and cream sauce. Mmmmm....my mouth is watering.

I didn't mention yesterday that I found out on Sunday the trainer I had been working with and ADORED at the gym somehow left (fired? quit? not sure) while I was in GA...I'm soooooo disappointed!! I have an appointment with a new trainer for Wednesday night...we'll see...she sounds too "cutesy" on the phone. I need a drill sergeant type!

Today is my baby sister’s birthday. 33 years ago she was born 3 months early, weighing in at 1lb, 14 oz....which in 1976, they didn't have a whole lot of hope for her surviving...and if she did they said she would have a whole host of problems. She thrived and went on to be completely normal...well...I've always joked over the years that her only problem is that she's an annoying little sister...but really, I love her to death and am so glad she decided to stick around this crazy world.

LC v2.0 Day 2 - Have I seriously not posted in the month of June???

I'M HERE! I'M HERE! I'M HERE!

I've spent the last couple of weeks on vacation....mentally, physically, nutritionally....

But...I'm back, started induction yesterday. My current weight is 271.2...so I'm above my low, but it's not at all horrible. That is not, by the way, water weight...because I spent the weekend "de-swelling" my legs with lots of water pills and leg elevation.

You see...I spent the last couple of weeks in Georgia...which is HOT. And I spent much of that time walking around...which causes me to swell even in the cold...add the heat, and you get super-swelling. Then I spent 5 hours on an airplane coming home...and you get elephant ankles! I should have weighed myself before doing the "de-swelling" weekend just for kicks, but I didn't want to be mortified at the number I saw. Today's number...I likey. Not bad for two weeks of grits, and chicken fried chicken, and pecan pie and other horrible indulgences that I enjoyed thoroughly.

I loved Georgia...never thought I'd say those words, but I did. When I left Georgia 25 years ago, I left bad childhood memories and swore I never had any need to go back. Now....I could move back and be happy...it's such a strange full circle moment for me. I spent 3 days in Savannah and 3 days in Charleston, SC. Savannah I would go back to in a heart beat! So beautiful! Charleston....well...I've seen it...not sure I need to go back, but glad I went. The remainder of my time I spent in Atlanta, driving around Atlanta...getting lost in Atlanta because of my stupid GPS...I checked out my childhood home and other landmarks I remember from my first 10 years on the planet. It was somewhat emotional. I also drove around the park where my father died...I wish I had stopped to place some flowers or something...but being there was weird enough for me. I met with the woman that had taken care of his estate and she passed on some of his writings to me that she hung onto all these years...I spent 2 full days reading every piece of paper she gave me....that was surreal...confusing...enlightening...and other things.

All in all it was a fantastic trip. I truly don't know how I managed to only gain 2 pounds of fat, but I did...and I'm glad. I'm happy to be back on plan, happy to be back here on my blog...happy to still have a job for now, although it's only my first day back...that could change at any minute. Sadly, that's not a joke...but I'm ready for it when they finally decide to lay me off.

Today's food...I had sausage and 2 eggs with roughly .5 oz of cheese for breakfast, lunch will be Caesar salad and cheesecake for desert, dinner is steak and broccoli and cauliflower. It's good to be back!